If at first you don’t secede, try, try again!

At last count, 40 states have filed petitions to secede from the Union. I have a better idea: let’s petition the District of Columbia to secede from the Union. Not only would that be mathematically simpler, but just think of all the problems that would solve at one fell swoop.

Perhaps we could even petition the Navy corps of civil engineers carve out the District of Columbia, put it on a barge, and float it up the Potomac into the Atlantic Ocean.