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Sunday, February 07, 2010

"Daddy issues"

Justin Taylor plugged a post by Michael Mckinley entitled “Jesus didn’t tap.” I’ll comment on a few of his statements:

“It makes the gospel man-centered.”

That depends on what you mean. Jesus is, among other things, the great physician. He heals the sick. And, as sinners, our illness take various forms: physical, emotional, and spiritual.

God created us with various needs. It’s hardly man-centered to say the Gospel ministers to our God-given needs.

“Coming to Jesus isn't a way for you to deal with your daddy issues.”

Why not?

i) For better or worse (and it can go either way), the father/son relationship is a defining relationship in our formative years. And that’s how God made us. We’re social creatures. At various levels we’re emotionally dependent on other human beings.

In a fallen world, many men didn’t get what they needed from their own fathers. So, yes, a lot of man have unresolved “daddy issues.”

That is nothing to mock or belittle. If a man suffers from “daddy issues,” that is not, of itself, something he should feel ashamed of.

For God designed men to identify, in some measure, with their fathers. If that relationship was fundamentally inadequate (for whatever reason), then that will leave a mark.

The real question is how men with “daddy issues” should deal with that issue.

ii) I also have no idea why Mckinley thinks that coming to Jesus isn’t the right way to deal with issue.

In God the Father we have the perfect exemplar of fatherhood. In Jesus, we have the perfect exemplar of manhood (in addition to his Godhood). And in the Holy Spirit we have the grace of inner renewal.

Christianity gives a man the resources to become the kind of man that he was meant to be. Where else should he turn?

“I get it, your dad didn't hug you when you were little and you want to be a different kind of man. How about you go hug your kid then?”

Of course, that misses the point. Men with unresolved “daddy issue” may lack the capacity to be good fathers in their own right. They can give what they don’t have. They can’t give what they never got.

Coming to Jesus initiates a process of healing and wholeness. It isn’t automatic. We need to use the means of grace. And it’s a lifelong process. Indeed, a process which will remain incomplete in this life.

“It discourages and mocks godly men who aren't macho. There is an undercurrent of disdain in all of this. Proponents of this testosterone Christianity can't help but take shots at guys who wear pastels and drink cappuccino.”

That’s a legitimate concern. However, it’s odd that Mckinley is tone-deaf to his own disdain and mockery in the opposite direction.

Imagine if a man with “daddy issues” read his piece. At a minimum, such a man would vow to never step inside Mckinley’s church. At a maximum, he’d be so put off by this post that he’d swear off church altogether. It confirms his worst suspicions about the welcome (or lack thereof) that he can expect to receive if he ever went to church.

1 comment:

  1. This sort of stuff just underscores ofuscation of Creator/creature realities.

    I mean, what?

    I like what you wrote in response to one of the points.

    You wrote:::>

    "....Coming to Jesus initiates a process of healing and wholeness. It isn’t automatic. We need to use the means of grace. And it’s a lifelong process. Indeed, a process which will remain incomplete in this life....".

    I would only highlight one aspect that seems to be missing inherently in there that is not in here:::>

    Rev 22:1 Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, bright as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb
    Rev 22:2 through the middle of the street of the city; also, on either side of the river, the tree of life with its twelve kinds of fruit, yielding its fruit each month. The leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations.
    Rev 22:3 No longer will there be anything accursed, but the throne of God and of the Lamb will be in it, and his servants will worship him.
    Rev 22:4 They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads.


    Hmmmmm, hold on now, wait just a minute, a few seconds or hey, like how about for all eternity??? What? Is there going to be sickness in Heaven? Ah, no::::>

    "...The leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations."

    Ok, now, not only will there be dogs in Heaven with glorified fleas, there's going to be trees in Heaven, and tea parties!

    What we seem to forget is, we are the dependent children of an All Purpose, Eternal, Holy, Righteous and Good God, Our Heavenly Father.

    Just because I die and go to Heaven does not mean I die and go to live a very independent Holy Life on my own island somewhere a kazillion eternities away from the Throne of God and the Lamb!

    As in the natural, so in the Spiritual, both on earth and when I pass, in Heaven as well.

    I am the creature. God is the Creator. And just because I am the Bride of Christ, the Wife of the Lamb, doesn't mean we have a permanent separation and then finally, an amicable divorce! No, He is and has always been and always will be the Head of the Body, both in this life and in the Life to come.

    Get over it and go hug not only your son or daughter, your uncle and aunt, brothers and sisters, the lost and dying and of course, the rich and the poor!

    The solution to the pollution is not dilution, it's absolution and restoration to being a creature again in this life and the Life to come, under the Will and Direction of Our God, the Creator!

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