Theological Gourmet Report

The 2010 edition of the Theological Gourmet Report has been published. Here are the rankings for the top 10 theological schools:

10. Princeton Theological Seminary. Included cuz we had to throw a bone at the Ivy Leaguers or else they'd bark up a storm.

9. Whitefield Theological Seminary. This seminary reflects the greatness of a single individual, George Whitefield. Countless men, women, and children were saved by his preaching and ministry. Well done, Whitefield Theological Seminary, for making the cut.

8. Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary. What's better than naming a seminary after a godly man? Naming it after two of 'em!

7. Dallas Theological Seminary. As fine men as Whitefield, Gordon, and Conwell were, they're no match for an entire city.

6. Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. As fine a city as Dallas is, it's no match for an entire denomination with men and women from various cities around the world.

5. Westminster Theological Seminary. As fine a denomination as the SBC is, it's no match for multiple denominations. Although WTS is technically not affiliated with a particular denomination, one can't help but call to mind the WCF when one thinks of WTS. And, of course, various Presby denominations look to the WCF.

4. Reformed Theological Seminary. As fine a representation of multiple denominations as WTS is, RTS reflects the entire Reformed faith. Not to mention RTS has more campuses located in various places than does WTS. Therefore it's ranked above WTS.

3. Oak Hill College. As fine and as many campuses as RTS has, in an iron cage, mono a mono battle to the death, RTS is no match for a hill made of solid oak. (Or a hill with oaks if the oaks are like Treebeard.)

2. Christ Theological Seminary. As fine as a hill made of solid oak is, well, who created the oak hill in the first place? Can any Bible college or seminary do better than to have the Son of God in their name?

1. Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. Yes, have the entire Godhead! TEDS is tops.

Honorable mention (#11): The Master's Seminary since through various mind tricks it lures seminarians into thinking they're training their padawan selves to become jedi knights and then masters.