“The typical Arminian analogy for ‘wooing’ is that of a suitor for a prospective spouse. He ‘woos’ her with dates, flowers, promises, etc.”
This is a correct definition. However, that doesn’t change the fact that God wooed Israel out of Egypt.
The problem is that Bro. Bridges, as a Baptist son of Belial, is dependent on his heretical canon of the Bible, which he inherited from the Rothschids.
But according to the Deuterocanonicals, God delivered Israel from Egypt by wooing her with a box of chocolates. There are, admittedly, some textual variants in Holy Tradition.
The Philoxenian version of 2 Exodus 6:6 says, “Wherefore say unto the children of Israel, I am the Lord, and I will bring you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians, and I will rid you out of their bondage, and I will redeem you with an outstretched box of Godiva double chocolate raspberry truffles, and with great condiments.”
But there is also a 13C Provençal uncial which reads, “French vanilla truffles,” in place of, “double chocolate raspberry truffles.”
Conversely, the Sogdian version says, “Wherefore say unto the children of Israel, I am the Lord, and I will bring you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians, and I will rid you out of their bondage, and I will redeem you with an outstretched box of Ghirardelli milk chocolate squares with caramelized almonds, and with great condiments.”
Truthfully,
ReplyDeleteI'm aware of the variants, Brother. Simple Southern Presbutero-Bapterian that I am, I prefer the Whitman - Hershey Critical Edition for this text, even if it is a product of what we prefer to call the Warr of Northern Aggression.
Please stop! I'm tired of having to wipe the sprayed milk and root beer off my computer screen every time I read your blog.
ReplyDeleteI must confess though that I prefer the Cadbury variant.
The Whitman-Hershey edition was past its sell by date, which explains why it was found in a garbage can in the first place. Talk about dumpster diving.
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