JOHN W. LOFTUS SAID:
"Have you watched the Planet Earth video of hunting dogs, or killer whales, or many of the other ways animals feed themselves?"
Yes, John, it's a tragedy. And don't forget about the guppies. Have you ever read about the way some guppies mistreat other guppies?
"Occasionally male guppies may behave aggressively towards each other, engaging in fin-nipping and other bullying behaviour."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guppy
If a benevolent, omnipotent, and omniscient God really existed, there would be no fin-nipping in fishbowls.
Anonymous atheist: Fin-nipping!
ReplyDeleteAnonymous atheist's wife: If God exists he must the most evil being in the universe!
Anonymous atheist: How can Christians worship such a MONSTER????????
Loftus: I didn't even nip my dog's *doghood*. If he had *fins*, I certainly wouldn't nip *them*!
Babinski: Look Loftus, I've sellotaped cardboard fins onto Franklin's sides. (smirks) Do you wanna nip them...?
Anonymous atheist's wife: Oh, and you've coloured them in too. That must have taken quite some effort.
Loftus: No. I would never nip the fins of any sentient being, whether human, fish, or dog. Am I nicer than an omni-God? I am... Period.
Anonymous atheist: Loftus, let me take my trilby off to you sir. This is quite simply the (shouts)PROOF - that will rock Christianity at it's very foundations. You will go down in history for this (bellows) PROOF! One that will be remembered until the heat death of the entire universe. Which exploded here from nowhere!!!!
Anonymous atheist's wife: Do that laugh!
Anonymous atheist: I can't I have a sore throat.
Loftus: Babinksi, Dagoods...
Dagoods and Babinski: HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW! HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW!
Loftus: That's better.
Babinksi: Does anyone want a cup of tea? I've made some.
Anonymous athiest: I think I strained my throat. Isn't tea bad if you have a sore throat?
Loftus: I don't think so...
Dagoods: HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW!
Anonymous atheist's wife: Hey look, it's the talking plant from the Bible.
Talking plant: Hi, just thought I'd pop in to say hello. I haven't seen you guys for ages.
Babinksi: Do you want some tea?
Talking plant: Wouldn't mind if I do
Babinksi: Do you want milk?
Talking plant: Yes, please
Babinksi: Sugar?
Loftus: Are you referring to the anonymous atheist's wife in a patronisingly sexist way?
Babinksi: No, I ...
Anonymous atheist: Bad Babinski. Bad bad Babinksi.
Anonymous atheist's wife: GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!!!!
Loftus: STAY AWAY! STAY AWAY!!!!!
Dagoods: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! DIE DIE DIE DIE
THE END
Hi Steve,
ReplyDeleteI have a few questions that are more than a bit off topic, but I don't know of any other way to contact you, so I hope you don't mind if I ask them here.
I was reading through your archives and came across a discussion you had with another fellow on various post-Berkhof systematic theologies, and their deficiencies. You said that (in light of the absence of an up-to-date, truly outstanding systematic theology, I take it) one could piece together various works of writers such as Frame, Helm, Murray, Poythress, et al, as a good compromise.
While I own (and love!) Frame's major works, I am very new to the Reformed position and am more than a little ignorant of the other writers you mentioned, much less their individual works. So I was wondering if you could point me in the right direction in terms of what works I should buy in order to get what you would consider the best treatment of a given topic (e.g., soteriology, the Trinity, etc).
If you could help me out, it would be very much appreciated. Thanks and God bless! :)
~Chris
You can allow the Holocaust. You can allow earthquakes. You can allow Tsunamis. But what you can't do is let a guppy get bullied by another!!!! That's just wrong dang it!
ReplyDeleteHi Chris,
ReplyDeleteHere's a place to start:
Sinclair Ferguson. John Owen on the Christian Life (Banner of Truth 1987)
Paul Helm. The Providence of God (IVP 1994)
_____, The Beginnings (Banner 1986)
_____, The Callings (Banner 1987)
_____, The Last Things (Banner 1989)
Anthony Hoekema. Saved by Grace (Eerdmans 1989)
Roger Nicole. Our Sovereign Saviour (Christian Focus 2002)
J. I. Packer. Concise Theology (Tyndale 1993)
John Piper. Counted Righteous in Christ (Crossway Book 2002).
_____, Let the Nations be Glad (Baker 1993)
_____. The Justification of God (Baker 1999)
Thomas Schreiner. Paul: Apostle of God's Glory in Christ (IVP 2001)
http://www.lgmarshall.org/Warfield/warfield_predestination.html
http://www.9marks.org/CC/article/0,,PTID314526|CHID598016|CIID1731702,00.html
http://faculty.gordon.edu/hu/bi/Ted_Hildebrandt/OTeSources/02-Exodus/Text/Articles/Beale-Hardening-TJ.pdf
Thanks a lot, Steve.
ReplyDelete