Explosions Rock Colo. Spgs.; James Cameron in Hiding

March 2, 2007; Colorado Springs, CO -- Explosions were heard throughout Colorado Springs this morning as angry Christians took to the streets protesting James Cameron's documentary, Something We Made Up While Inhaling Fumes From An Ancient Tomb.

"This mockumentary is an attack on our religious beliefs," said one masked man toting an AK47. "This insult to Christianity will not go unchallenged."

Another man, carrying an RPG, shot at a police barricade near Acacia Park before police shot him dead. There has been no word on the number of police deaths, but experts fear Colorado Springs could be decending into sectarian violence (although thus far officials have stopped short of calling it a civil war).

Colorado Springs, known to many as the Mecca of Evangelicalism, is home to nearly 100 Christian organizations. James Cameron, the producer of the documentary, has been in hiding since early this morning when he came out of his home and saw his shadow, thus discovering six more weeks of Global Warming.