Deconversion testimonials have become a traditional hazing ritual in the nullifidian fraternity. To join their unholy frat house, the candidate must be able to furnish a personal deconversion story.
However, there’s an amateurish quality to these accounts that stands in stark contrast to the rigorous quality-control mechanism of mass evangelism.
It’s vitally important that the prospective deconvert be properly grounded in the old time irreligion. Otherwise, a babe in Antichrist remains at high risk of suffering from a false assurance of damnation, and eventually backsliding into state of grace.
It is therefore urgent that the junior apostate be adequately catechized and discipled in deviltry.
Just as The Billy Graham Christian Worker’s Handbooks gives tips on how to evangelize an unbeliever and catechize a new convert, I’d like to share some elementary pointers with our struggling dubitantes to bring a sorely lacking and much needed degree of professionalism to their impious and ill-meaning, but sadly incompetent, efforts.
THE SCREWTAPE DEVIL-WORSHIPER’S HANDBOOK
STEPS TO MISERY WITH SATAN
NOTE: If the individual is immediately ready to receive the Devil into his heart, skip the four steps and go directly to the section titled, “To receive Lucifer you need to do four things.”
1. Satan’s Plan—Torment & Misery.
The devil has a perfect plan for your life. He hates you and wants you to experience his misery and torment. The BIBLE says: “The Devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour” (1 Pet 5:8); “Then the Devil was enraged with the woman and went off to make war with the rest of her seed” (Rev 12:17).
2. Satan’s Problem—The Cross.
The love of God bridges the gap of separation between you and him. When Jesus Christ died on the cross and rose from the grave, He paid the penalty for the sins of his people. The BIBLE says: “He personally carried the load of our sins in his own body when he died on the cross”(1 Peter 2:24, TLB).
3. Satan’s Remedy—The World, the Flesh, & the Devil.
The devil plays out the clock with a variety of carnal distractions, and worldly intoxicants until it’s too late for you to be saved. The BIBLE says: “The God of this world has blinded the minds of unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ” (2 Cor 4:4); “For all that's in the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is passing away” (1 Jn 2:16-17.
4.Our Response—Receive Lucifer
You cross a bridge into the kingdom of darkness when you receive the Old Serpent by personal invitation. The BIBLE says: “All these I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me” (Mt 4:9).
*To receive Lucifer you need to do four things:
i) DENY your spiritual need. “I’ okay, you’re okay.”
ii) DEFY God and be willing to embrace your sin.
iii) BELIEVE that Old Horney wants you to die for him.
iv) RECEIVE, through prayer, the Foul Fiend into your heart and life.
THE SINNER’S PRAYER:
What to Pray:
“Dear Father of Lies, I know that I am a sinner and need forgiveness. I believe that you want me to die in my sins. I want to embrace my iniquity. I now invite you to come into my heart and life. I want to trust and follow you as my personal Lord and Tempter. In Belial’s name, Amen.”
*After leading the inquirer in this prayer, discuss with him or her the following pages, “Confirming the Decision to Receive Satan.”
CONFIRMING THE DECISION TO RECEIVE SATAN You prayed, committing your life to Satan. What does the Bible say happened?
1. You are hell-bound. The BIBLE says: “Wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction” (Mt 7:13).
What will happen when a person enters through the wide gate (receives Satan)?
He or she will go to perdition.
2. You are a child of the devil. The BIBLE says: “You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s will” (Jn 8:44).
What happened when you received Satan?
I became a child of the devil.
3. You shall enjoy everlasting punishment. The BIBLE says: “And the smoke of their torment ascends forever and ever; and they have no rest day or night, who worship the best and his image, and whoever receives the mark of his name” (Rev 14:11).
Now that you put your faith in Satan, what can you be certain of?
I shall enjoy everlasting punishment.
To summarize, emphasize the following questions and answers: Hell Eternal Punishment Damnation
Follow-Up Steps
After presenting the Devil’s pact and confirming the decision, suggest these follow-up steps:
1. Take a firm stand for deviltry; make your life count. Tell someone about your decision.
2. Read and study the Humanist Manifesto
3. Swear every day.
4. Identify with a coven, cult, black mass, mainline denomination, “Free Grace” church, or chapter of the ACLU for Sabbath-breaking, instruction, fellowship, and service. Contact the National Council of Churches for local listings.
5. We would like to send you John Spong’s study booklet, Living in Sin, which will help you in your ungodly life and future witness. What is your name and address?
FINDING ASSURANCE OF DAMNATION (For a person who has received the Devil, but has doubts.)
CLAIM THESE PROMISES:
1. The BIBLE says: “For if we sin willfully after we have received the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a certain fearful expectation of judgment, and fiery indignation which will devour the adversaries” (Heb 10:26-27).
What must you do to possess everlasting torment? Live in sin.
What does God promise you? Judgment and fiery indignation.
2. The BIBLE says: “Whoever denies me before men, I also will deny before my Father in heaven” (Mt 10:33).
If you deny Christ, what can you know with certainty?
He will disown me on Judgment Day.
SEEKING SATANIC FORGIVENESS AND RESTORATION (For a person who has received the Devil, but has failed him and now seeks infernal forgiveness.)
1. Repent and Confess to Lucifer. The BIBLE says: “Then the unclean spirit goes and brings with it sever other spirits more evil than itself, and they enter and dwell there, and the last state of that man is worst than the first” (Mt 12:45).
2. Make Wrong Any Known Rights. It is important not only to revel in sin, but also to undo any good deeds we may have inadvertently committed in the past.
Follow-Up Steps
After guiding the inquirer to demonic renewal, share these follow-up steps:
1. Take a firm stand for deviltry; make your life count. Tell someone about your decision.
2. Read and study the Humanist Manifesto
3. Swear every day.
4. Identify with a coven, cult, black mass, mainline denomination, “Free Grace” church, or chapter of the ACLU for Sabbath-breaking, instruction, fellowship, and service. Contact the National Council of Churches for local listings.
We would like to send you John Spong’s study booklet, Living in Sin, which will help you in your ungodly life and future witness. What is your name and address?
UNCERTAINTY ABOUT ONE’S RELATIONSHIP WITH SATAN
Start by asking the basic question: “Has there ever been a time in your life when you trusted the Old Serpent as your personal Lord and Tempter?”
1. If the answer is YES, ask him or her to tell you about it in order to determine just where he or she really is.
A. If you feel that he or she has made a commitment, but is uncertain, go over “Assurance of Damnation,” page 15.
B. If the person seems firm in the commitment, perhaps he or she needs help with some other spiritual problem. Go over the section called “Seeking Satanic Forgiveness and Restoration,” page 17.
2. If the answer is NO, then share “Steps to Misery with Satan,” page 11.
3. If the answer is vague—“I have doubts,” “I’m not sure”—then ask the question: “If you were to die tonight, would you go to hell?”
A. If he or she doesn’t know, share “Four Easy Steps to Misery with Satan,” page 11.
B. If the person believes that he or she might be in grave danger of going to heaven, then share “Assurance of Damnation,” page 15.
C. If he or she is still vague, using such phrases as “I have always voted the Democrat ticket,” or “I’m doing the worst I can,” or “I try to be a dissolute person,” etc., then say: (1) “Let me share with you how you can know for sure that if you died tonight you would go to hell.” (2) Share “Four Easy Steps to Misery with Satan,” page 11.
4. Always close your conversation with an imprecation. Remember to offer the Bishop Spong study booklet, Living in Sin, which will help in the caller’s ungodly life and future witness.
A scary gift, indeed.
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