A parable

And he spake this parable unto certain which trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others:

“Two men went up into the Temple to pray; the one an ambulance-chaser, the other an English major. The Ambulance-chaser stood and prayed thus with himself:

‘Lord Robinson, I thank thee that I am not as other men are, Prots, premils, English majors--or even this uppity upstart that hath affronted mine exalted exaltedness. I hath an Harvard law degree, a masters in physic, and I did donate last year’s Rolex to the Treasure of Merit at compound interest.

And the English major, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, ‘God be merciful to me a sinner.’

I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other, for everyone that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.”

[Disclaimer: the contents contained herein are meant for entertainment purposes only. All characters contained herein are purely fictitious. Although every effort was made to allegorically verify the contents contained herein, that is no guarantee of accuracy. Any resemblance to real people, living or dead (Schrödinger’s cat exempted) is strictly coincidental. This disclaimer supersedes all previous disclaimers—except when voided, unless prohibited.]