tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6789188.post6266035279512342842..comments2024-03-27T17:15:37.606-04:00Comments on Triablogue: To tatt or not to tatt?Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17809283662428917799noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6789188.post-15724549278404307472016-06-13T13:10:50.844-04:002016-06-13T13:10:50.844-04:00Unless the content is inappropriate, I think a tat...Unless the content is inappropriate, I think a tattoo is adiaphorous. <br /><br />As you frame it, the issue is more about college students who study out of state.<br /><br />Why should parents take a tattoo personally? It's not about them in the first place. That's a problem with parents who identify with whatever their kids say and do, as if their kids, even grown children, are just extensions of themselves. Some parents are prone to be control freaks. It's not so much the kid who needs to wean himself from Mom and Dad, but vice versa. Surely there's a point at which parents as well as kids should cut the apron strings. <br /><br />There's a valid question of spending parental funds on a tattoo. That's a frivolous use of someone else's money. What if the student is working a part time job, spending his own money on the tattoo? <br /><br />You've proposed a dilemma in which a grown child should consult his parents first. But if he's so immature that he ought to seek parental permission to get something as innocuous as a tattoo, how can he be trusted to study out of state? As you know, there are much more inviting temptations than getting a tattoo. <br /><br />The best way to lose your kids is to cling to them too tightly. That's a recipe for rebellion and alienation. If you want your kids to remain a regular part of your life, you have to let them slip the leash and roam free–especially above a certain age. <br /><br />Parents who are too controlling provoke the very thing they fear: kids who walk away and never look back. Above a certain age, it's natural and proper to chafe at parental control freaks. In the long run we have to make it on our own in this life. A degree of independence is good and necessary. If anything, the complaint nowadays is about helicopter parents and boomerang kids. <br /><br />But thanks for your intelligent feedback. stevehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16547070544928321788noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6789188.post-75232324476028112422016-06-13T11:52:50.097-04:002016-06-13T11:52:50.097-04:00Dear Steve,
The objection you identify as Wilson&...Dear Steve,<br /><br />The objection you identify as Wilson's weakest may actually be his strongest.<br /><br />The issue has a pastoral context. Doug is in a university town. He founded a new classical college in that same town. There are scads of students in his church.<br /><br />What do we know about college students? They are technically and legally adults, but they continue to rely on their parents for a great deal of support--financial, car maintenance, moving help, etc. Many if not most college students are also seeking to establish their independent identity, and the easiest way to do that is to take whatever their parents' preferences and beliefs are, and do a 180. Parents don't drink == I must drink, and drink often. Parents don't smoke == time to light up. Parents don't approve of tattoos == Let's get a tattoo! Parents are conservative Republicans who support capitalism == Let's support Bernie Sanders/Ron Paul/fill in the blank and say Bush brought the Towers down! It isn't rational, of course, but it is easy. Who wants to do the hard of work of self differentiation when there's an easier way? Are college students known for their commitment to hard work?<br /><br />Given this reality, it's wise for Wilson to pry into motivations. He won't be right every time, but he'll be right enough of the time for it to do some good. If you reorient the eager first-time-away-from-home Christian college punk away from do-the-opposite-of-Mom-and-Dad and consider his actions and how they will affect his parents who continue to support him, you might also steer his soul away from other poor choices and reactionary thinking.<br /><br />You will object that Wilson does not lay this out, his post is unclear, and I am reading too much into what he is saying. Fair enough. I'll take the hit. I still think I'm on the right track.<br /><br />Finally, you write, "Prudent parents draw the line on things that really matter." True. Personally, I'm not settled on the tattoo question. I don't feel strongly either way; like you, I would put this under the "doesn't really matter" column. But if it doesn't really matter, and one knows he will cause his parents distress and alarm over getting a tattoo, why get the tattoo? The "does it really matter" issue goes both ways, both for the tattoo-getter and the tattoo-objector. If prudence is what we're interested in, perhaps an act requiring a not-inconsequential sum of Mom and Dad's money in order to put a permanent mark on one's skin that will cause alarm from Mom and Dad should be the thing that gets negotiated away. Dropped for the sake of prudence, so that more consequential issues (like religion) could be dealt with more effectively.<br /><br />Perhaps the eager student should bear with his parents as the weaker brethren.<br /><br />Regards,Ben Carmackhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15689868508463357958noreply@blogger.com